Fever Dreams- Part 1

What is it about writing that seems to transform a single thought into an entire universe ? Its as if you have gone to another world explored ever joy, sorrow, every tincture of every being in every way , all of it. Then out of nowhere a child walks up to and hands you a new toy, you pick up the kaleidoscope look through it, discovering a new world within the last. In the brief process of writing this short story I have been grateful to find several of kaleidoscopes. The process alone has brought be great joy, and frustrations, all of which were gratifying and unique.

Fever Dreams is a short work of speculative fiction. Its based on the dealings of 3 main characters that work with Humex corp, a company specializing in human modifications and enhancements. The story takes places on the wondrous central planet of Apaliz and explores personal yearnings for achievements through human potentiation. In a futuristic world that includes interplanetary colonizing marred with antiquated thoughts of old universe mentality, clashing with ideas of progress mixed with raw human greed.

Som Kazemi 2012

Hunting Rabbits

Time to put on my philosophers cap on for a moment. (Like many of the hats I wear, it is also tin-foiled :)

The ambition of many philosophers/artists has lead to the inevitable striving to become better persons. It is this insistent drive to supersede themselves, that often strikes at the drum of self enrichment. To be better then oneself, to expand, is in a sense to become a new person. This newness through a self-discovery, is as engrossing as any lifelong purist.

During a conversation with a friend from the States, one of the supposed paths of improvement was discussed. The logic that follows, was that; (A) I want to improve; (B) all improvement is the survival of some form of suffering ; (C) therefore I need to suffer in order to become better. The final point of this argument was extended to artists, with the view that only artists that have gone through the necessary process, e.g ( derailment, setbacks, suffering and loss) can produce the greatest works of art. While I will not disagree that many artist that endure hardship use it to produce great works, I will note that it is however not necessary. Specificity it is a misinterpretation of the creative act of acclimating oneself with the proper mindset to become successful.

Consider.

An important distinction while seeming subtle can make a world of difference, i.e. (A) Challenges are vital ; (B) Challenges do not necessarily equal suffering. Let us consider the example of Homer the Greek poet who wrote epic war stories. his challenge was to create and represent a world that he could never see. This also speaks against the notion that in order to understand and express a world you must live through it. The blind poet never picked up a sword in his life, he never experienced the hardships of war, however his treaties and stories of war stand on their own, as remarkable feats. His role in writing the Iliad was a challenge. It acted as a self imposed calling to achieve and accomplish the extraordinary.

When Suffering Causes Greatness, it is by Accident.

The angry and enraged mindset would not set anyone into a super-productive state. In a very practical sense, anger reduces your mental faculty and decision making. People that suffer anger tend do poorly in all maters. Consider Dostoevsky as he began and wrote much of his Great novel “Crime and Punishment” in such despondent conditions; death of his wife, death of his brother, saddled with great debts. Furthermore he signed an agreement that stipulated if he did not produce a new novel within a relativity short time, all rights to Dostoevsky's past and future works would revert to a greedy creditor. By all means, It seems the ordinary unnerving of matters would include allowing himself to be caught up in the conditions . As history has taught us, Dostoevsky was not an ordinary man. It was more likely that Dostoevsky great works was inclined to the direct result of the liberation of his own mind. It was the artistic surrender to the inward compulsion for greatness, rather then the dwelling on the hardships that engrossed him.

Consider the proverbial rabbit hunting story that takes its place within many zen tales. It involves a women hunting a fleeing rabbit.

After traveling off into the forest in search of it, she stumbles upon her mark in a glade. Her desires are peeked and every thought in her head, is leading towards its procurement. With axe in hand she begins to lunge towards it. It is however no good, she begins again, this time with a different tack. The result still no good. Now anger starts to trail her every movement, she darts left the rabbit moves right. She moves right, the rabbit moves left. She moves north the rabbit moves south. This continues , without the sight of an end, the rabbit is taunting her almost every step. Finally she gives up shooting out in a rage she slams her axe into a tree. At that moment the axe breaks apart with the sharp end flying off into the woods. She turns around much to her astonishment, she spots the rabbit slain by the blade of her axe.

In the case of the Russian author the challenge was to produce a great novel. The suffering and his conditions – were also present. However he catches his proverbial rabbit, and not as a consequence of chasing the rabbit, but giving up on that mindset of ineptitude and suffering. The surrender to the inward desire to attain that goal also meant getting out of the way of his own progress. It might take tired legs succumb to an endless pursuit, or the hardening of conditions, the raining in the forests, the bleakness of the path, but ultimately the action necessary is still the same.

Why the Game of Thrones is That Good

Often its easy to point out what we don't like in books, or movies. On the same note its easy to forget to mention what we do like about them. Here's a quick overview of why GOT, or the Song of fire and Ice series, is that good. Starting with the top 6 reasons.

This is mostly spoiler free- No references to specifics within the plot are given. You should be safe to read it if you haven't already finished the series.

What this book does right

(6) Everything is Important but How Much So ?


This book has the ability to the separate interesting elements that are all important but the degree to which they are, is to be deciphered . In some cases there's a purposeful lapse, of some new information, a curious side note were you might wonder of the significance of and its place within the story. Its at these times when the Author George R.R. Martin (GRRM) is almost toying with the reader, occasionally hinting that some of those briefly mentioned rumors or insights can be significant while others could be purposefully misleading. This introduces a great deal of mystery. To compound this even more, the characters often express questionably relevant story elements within their own perspective, which is fallible at that ! This ups the ante even more as the reader lingers over an element introduced by those characters, and has to examine the characters disposition and motivations (which are thoroughly developed ) to ponder the relevancy and the validity of their statements. To good

(5) Depth of Character, Characters that Live and Breathe.

Character development and depth of personality is astounding well done. You could subject almost any of the cast to a Myers-Briggs test, and come out with a consistent personality type. Actions and events are foreshadowed just within knowledge of the persona's of the characters themselves. Even more intriguing GRRM has given many of these characters, their own chapters to feature their perspectives. Within these perspectives we get something vital to a good story -character flaws. For much of the book, Its not the events and the locations that drives the story's but the beautiful inevitability of complex characters, clashing ideals, and vocations scrimmaging in all out tragic Neo-Shakespearean manner.

Before this, just when the characters and plot rear into a gut wrenching climax ; those few moments preceding is when they're offered the choice to opt out, to escape ! The reader so desperately attached to these characters, longing and now yelling out at their ruffed up paperback copies, to take them ! These escapes sounds so good to, for everyone expect the characters themselves, and always sealed with that fatal flaw their fates are as inevitable as more burnt tossed then re-bought copies, of the book itself.

(4) Logic.

There is something very beautiful about logic. The placement consistency and ability to find a framework to express ideas, becomes all to rich in times where the form is as beautiful as the figure within it. The story is imbued with both character logic, (characters that act in dictates within their own personalities, and plot logic- (the ability for sides to act knowingly based on exclusive interests). This is so prevalent, that sometime after finishing the first book, I made a prediction based where I saw the story progressing. The waring or reconciliation of certain factions, it was, and to this end I predicted a particular and odd event that would have to happen to a character for this to come about. (Yes I'm involved in some sort of wacky interpretative dance/work-about to keep this spoiler free) This event on the outsets sounded and seemed both spectacular and random. Then when the event did occur later on, it only confirmed the layers of thought that went into this prediction were based on a long chain of casualty that the author would not forgo ! It wasn't so random! There is significant, deliberation in the outline of the plot bringing together elements that transforms narrative, naturally with a consistency and an affinity to its form.

(3) Plot Twists.

With logical consistency the characters, plot, story and world become much more believable. The incredible plot twist live within this logic, are foreshadowed within its form while still managing to surprise and shock the reader. That is, while sitting on the edge of your chair screaming "Holy" expletive "How", (stutter). "Why did that happen": It is after these not so calm moments, when you force yourself to settle down afterwards, to recollect your thoughts and say, "Yeah I knew it all along, the clues were there". Yet it ties in so well, with such a delicious sense of timing that its unraveling is unreal. This series of books has some of the best plot twists ever written in Fantasy.


(2) Strong Female Characters.

It almost goes without saying, when reading a fantasy novel you can expect a good deal of misogyny. Often times, it is argued as a consequence of "the times of the book", or the inexperience of the authors with the opposite sex. (Fantasy writers are not exactly rock stars). That's why it is so refreshing to witness such powerful engaging multidimensional female characters. Written in a way, with such a spectacle, that you could only think of Homers (the blind Greek author's) vivid pictorial depictions of battle glory as equally astounding . I should probably stop here, I just implicated the whole lot of fantasy writers as horse in carriage blindsided to the opposite sex. In many ways though the female characters are equal to if not better developed then any of their male counterparts. GRRM does really well in depicting characters that resound with readers regardless of their sex.

Finally the most Important reason why these books are that good

1) Bad-Ass Midgets


Yeah

Movember and the Creative Process

Its Dec 1 today one day after "Movember" in Canada has ended. "Movember" is where the month before December is renamed in a way to emphasis the mustache in November (stay with me). Every year in November mustaches are grown by Canadian men (I think its only the men) to raise funds and awareness for men's health, more specifically prostate cancer. Now this is all high and good, but looking around I've come to secretly suspect it could just be a ploy so that Mexican drug dealers and Middle Eastern tyrants, can better blend into the general populace. I might be bias, but I would have liked "Soultember" Soul Patches in September instead. How many world dictators do you know with only soul patches :P If you would like to learn more about Movember - Maybe even prepare for it next year, in-between the process of planing your next military coup- here's the link http://ca.movember.com/.

All kidding aside I really would like to post up part 2 of my article on dealing with pain. It might help a few people, though seeing as I'm still not 100 percent yet, I thought I would hold off just a bit. So instead I'm going to attempt to go back to one of my personal goals of this blog and attempting to delve into the creative process . The goal being, to describe thoughts and developments that are in play during the time one pickups the brush and begins, till when the paint has fully dried. Instead of painting however I'm going to focus on music, since well I don't think a creative roundabout for some stick figures and spilled paint bordering somewhere near the lines, would make for a very interesting read.

In the past I've wanted to read other accounts, to learn and to see what it is that a great painter would, or know and experience how a great poet would write. In this sense I've been mostly disappointed. While there are a few cases where the artist leaves us incredible accounts of the process, at times this is not so and the artist recount of their process might more accurately resemble a case study on the effects of hard drugs usage. Either that or you, get the "how do you do that" ? "I don't know I just do" response.

While at first glance this would seem like a brush off (no pun intended), and it very well may be depending on who your asking and what kind of irritable "artistic" mode they're in. In other cases however it can make sense for someone to explain it in this manner. The reasoning being; many skills are often ingrained internally on a level similar to muscle memory. This is beneficial for the artist because when your not conscious of the process while you are working, it frees up the mind to focus on finer details. Here you are in the action of doing not having to worry about how you are doing it. So the creative actions can take place without much reflection at the given moment in which it occurs. In this case many people just take it as is without really reflecting to much on it. This is fair in that sense but the important point here is, what comes about "naturally" and "effortlessly"can for some people be broken down and expressed in such a way that would not only give more insight into what they are doing but also provide help for others allowing them to experience some of the mindset.

While we all think differently and the actions of creating something artistically will differ tremendously between persons, I strongly believe that by delving into the mindset of the artists , we can impart a form of knowledge that can be more valuable then sometimes even years of theory alone. Lets consider traditional theory and its goals of breaking things down into mechanistic values and attempting to relay that working knowledge into a standardized process. There is one great dilemma with this; we are not machines. The information we receive will always be symbolically interpreted and translated into forms the individual adapts from the raw theory. That is, disposition, tendencies, style and expression will filter the knowledge itself. So why then is static theory created in this way ? Well for convince when you are teaching so many people a set method at one time its almost a necessity.

The very process by which the artist actually breaks down the raw knowledge is in itself unique, with its own merit. Consider the Italian Renaissance, one of the great esteemed artistic movements of western art. In this case and time, without having a standardized theory and the need to efficiency teach massive amounts of people at once, they relied on apprenticeships. Apprenticeships were remarkable for creating the likes of Michelangelo , Leonardo (and eventually all the ninja turtles :P) as well as many other incredible talented artists. Following the dark ages there was no set theory in many of the fields, so a teacher, would teach the apprentice not by stale derivative methods, but through their own free understanding and processing of the art (which in itself is an art). The teacher would impart their form of interpretation, working knowledge, post theory and even take into consideration and sometimes even teach based on the predisposition of the pupil. It could be said that the individual interpretation of art was largely responsible for the reemergence of art as a dominate cultural force in the West.

End of Part One

For those of you stricken with the post Movember blues. Perhaps your to afraid to turn on the news to see the toppling of another 3-rd world dictatorships, fearing that yet another good mustache has met its end. Stayed tuned for part two of this article. (Disclaimer : part 2 has nothing to do with mustaches but actually starts off with the question "Can creativity be taught"?)

Drugs and Midgets

Hmm I really should be mindful when I met new people. Though they tend act the same, respond the same and even ask the same questions. Sometimes I can even go into "auto" mode and let the answers themselves come out. One things that's actually gotten novel responses, is when I tune out and people ask me what I like to do for fun or to relax. Then Auto mode starts up "I like to do lines".... Its usually sometimes later, after I add the "actually its really good for you", and some "doctors themselves do it themselves", and "it can be very addictive", staring at gaping faces, I remember to add that I was referring to Tetris.

Honestly I'm not really one for drugs or alcohol, before Halloween I hadn't drank anything close to 3 months. At the outset of the party I had it all planed, I bring a six pack, give away half and have as much fun as I always do. So the hitch in my plan comes from an ever increasing trend of people attempting to forcibly get me drunk. I've seen various creative methods, but they mostly involve a bottle of hard liquor being forced down my throat.

I'm not quit sure what it is about me that people tend to think my standard crazy disposition is in need of drugs and alcohol. Like what part of awkward sexual jokes aimed mostly at midgets and nuns makes people think that I need to drink to loosen up lol. Well what has really loosened me up lately is that since 2 days ago, and counting I've had a major alleviation of pain throughout my body. The weeks of running and swimming and many other things has finally paid off ! And I'm now high with delight.

Little Lady with Big Needles -part 1/2

It came slowly, but when it appeared again, one day 4 weeks ago I really noticed. The pain had spread its way into the entire back of my leg... It had gotten so bad, that in the middle of a sleepless night, I was up screaming to myself begging for morphine and a sterilized saw-blade. In search of some relief, I ended up going to the after hours clinic, hobbling in to see the doctor. While there was not quite enough exclamation marks or energy left in me to express the pain verbally, I settled for a solemnl telling of how it was hell. To think I had broken bones before, played lacrosse and even watched the entire last season of Lost, (complete with with questionable ending). I knew pain, and this was the worst by far. “There's no swelling” she said . “Its probably just muscle spasms”. “Sure” I thought 2 days of non-stop muscle spasms and she was probably just a sadist. I wondered if she was just trolling me, or did she expect me to ask for a note to get out of an exam. In the end I just hobbled away taking my prescription for hard pain medications with me.

Just as I took a sigh of relief thinking to myself "that's done with" ; Nope, it wasn't, and so it got worse. The pain continued, occupying almost the entirety of my thoughts, my condition progressed, with my muscles tightening worse then Scrooge at a charitable fundraiser. It just can't get worse I thought, there is no way, but even then it did. A few days later I went in to see my family doctor who able to provide the same muscle spasms theory as the previous doctor . “Muscle spasms", hmmm I thought, non-stop for close to a week now. Without much by way of explanation, and only hard and ineffectual painkillers I ventured that I may need another opinion, so I talked to some of the dozens of nurses I know, including my Aunt, Mother and close family friends. They weren’t sure what it was but offered a possible solution that, that my average of 2 hours a night of sleep/ brain would be inclined to agree to; The solution, have some nice Chinese lady, message me and stick needles into me. Acupuncture they call it.

Hmmm, worth a shot, (no pun intended) I would gladly take a needle or two, or half a dozen in order to ease the pain. This lead to the the only time I would ever pay money for physical contact, which would also help me isolate what was wrong and eventual find ways of treating/ curing preventing it. To skip forward in time for a moment I'm at a much greater place now to be able to even sit down briefly and write about these experiences. Having gone through them, and having the worst behind me I can only think of how incredibly useful it would have been for me to have stumbled upon a website that would lay out this painful acquired knowledge. So we now have the purpose of this blog post ! A quick run down of the start and the intention of laying out the conditions, symptoms causes, treatments, and preventions by the end of part 2 of this blog post. Firstly though, more on the little lady with the big needles....

Part 2 - Chinese philosophy - Needles -What is it ?- Sweet relief

Dishes and Video Game Music.

While washing a large stack of dishes, that was doing what could be the best tower of Pisa impersonation outside of Italy; I had time to think. While taking on this behemoth task I would slip into constant flashbacks, like a poorly scripted Anime. In one of them I seemed to recall a good friend of mine talking about his impression of music. He didn't say much, but he did say very bluntly he didn’t like instrumental music. That's ironic in that I made music for games we made together (these were simple flash games mind you), and he is largely impart a level designer and gamer himself. Since so much of game music is instrumental only, he was essentially saying he didn’t like my music or game music in general. I had to think about that for awhile. Through reflecting on it, I came to realize game music is in reality a niche market. I can easily envision that the honest sentiments of my friend is actually held by many other people out there. I pictured thousands of gamers hammering to find the mute button the moment their favorite game loaded up.

There was an article in kotaku I read a few days ago ( http://kotaku.com/5821655/why-video-games-with-silent-heroes-had-the-best-soundtracks) which attempted to argue that any sort of vocalization is a hindrance to musical affect. It even went so far as to announce that characters and scenes are much less memorable, with vocalization on top of instrumental accompaniment. The argument focuses on some examples of personal nostalgia and a strong preference for the music of Final Fantasy or Chrono Trigger. (which I am not so impartial to myself). The author goes on to emphasize that action scene's in particular have less affect with any sorts of vocalization and references movies such as Star Wars, stating that the theme's never play while the characters are on screen, and even presents a working example to help demonstrate the main point;

Here's a scene from final fantasy scored without voicing (the original) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx7nlSDFZVM&feature=player_embedded. Contrasted with one later rerecorded by the auther, voice acting included , http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2-6NnQVaBU&feature=player_embedded

As much as I would to believe this argument and take it all in like a starving child who suddenly finds himself in the midst of a large western all you can eat buffet for the first time, But wait after taking it all in the fortune cookie that I read out loud (“the food was not real”) and left a bad taste in my mouth. This argument is shaky on so many grounds for brevity sake I'll address only a few.

The main example for films given, (Star Wars) is probably one of the best examples only to disprove the theory. Star wars lives and dies by its music, and the interaction on the set are not brought to life by the wonderful dialogue, or incredible acting on set, but more so the way the music brings out the emotions in scenes where Lucus may have otherwise failed (awaits hate-mail) . To see this in action you just have to count how many times you hear Obi-Wan's voice ringing out, use the force Luke, followed by that theme for the force that instantly sets up our state of mind for this mystical religious concept that draws us in every-time we hear it. Or when Luke first spy's princess Leia on a holographic recording from R2, the audience hears her plight meanwhile Leia's musical theme brings us into the experience that Luke is having at the time. Or who could forget the final action scene of the movie were Luke is about to make the shot to save the empire, and we here Obi's voice and the theme for the force right before he switches off his guiding system and makes the shot that saves all.

The example of final fantasy 7 scene with and without voice acting is also suspect. The voice acting and music could be great on its own, but you cannot just combine them willy-nilly and expect it to work out. Just as a composer cannot just drop in a "cool" song into what is seen as a good game, and expect the sum of the two to work indefinitely. A more pragmatic view would look to the voice as you would any other instrument. As such you cannot just drop in a voice track over a good song and consider that it will be better for it. Instead scoring it as one would an instrument, being mindful of its range, and frequency bands allotted as well as how best to fit the music, would go a long way.

My dishes are still not done, and as much as I love and cherish instrumental music I'm reflecting that I should like to escape the traps set up by this article and avoid getting stuck with a mindset that does not allow me to experience new forms of music. My first clue that this article was way off, came from the experience of listening to whole genres of music, dedicated to the sampling of vocal lines, from movies and T.V . These include certain forms of hip hop, industrial music, and pys-trance to name a few. Unless game designers and composer want to find themselves washing more dishes regularly, (and not just the occasional tower) Games need to expand and adapt to changing tastes of people and the market. Not every soundtrack has to imitate Final Fantasy or Chrono trigger, and vocal music should inevitably play a larger roll in the games to come.

In our time, our century the instrument most revered is not the the piano the drums, or even the guitar, but the human voice. The use and application of this knowledge even in a minimal fashion could be useful in bringing a larger audience into gaming as well as introducing gaming as an art form, and a credible way to tell a story as well as entertain. While the situation may not be as as dire, as my mini leaning tower, it does warrant some new thought and better foresight, then I had before the tower first sprouted up in my sink.